Why would a person barely have time to take care of himself? Why would a person continue to sacrifice her wellbeing, even though she knows that in caring for herself she would be better able to care for others? The reason is choice. 

People are choosing to sacrifice their needs in the name of duty, and it’s understandable that they do so. As children, we were taught the concept of duty, and since then, the concept has been regularly reinforced. We were also taught about self care, but that concept is not often reinforced, and often, we are told to self sacrifice in the name of the greater good. 

Just to be clear, duties and responsibilities are important. As a society, we are a team working towards a greater good. Our team, like a chain, is as strong as its weakest member. If a teammate is going to contribute to the greater good, if she is going to meet the needs of our team, she first needs to meet her own needs.

Every aspect of society is a type of team. To be of value, meet your needs first. To be of value to your spouse, you must first meet your needs. To be of value to your children, you must first meet your needs. If your’e going to learn anything in school, you must first meet your needs. I’ve spent fifteen years in the airline industry as a pilot. If I attempt to fly an airplane while stressed, hungry, sleepy, sick, or in pain, I wouldn’t be of value to the people on that plane. To be of value as a pilot, I must first meet my needs. 

So what do you do when choosing to take care of yourself first seems impossible? Admittedly if you’re a teacher who suddenly realizes that he needs time off, you can’t just leave your classroom at 10:20am on a school day. A pilot can’t decide to take a vacation while her airplane is speeding through the sky at thirty-six thousand feet. 

The key to taking care of yourself first is doing it a little bit more each day. Short mental breaks are key. Take two minutes every time you have a break. Focus on something nice and just acknowledge that it is a nice thing. That’s it! Two minutes! Either this will come naturally for you or it will take practice. Either is good. In time, you will notice a desire and ability to take more mental breaks. 

Mental breaks are a form of meditation. The point is to keep your focus on something simple. With your focus on a single, object/sound/feeling/scent, all of things that are taxing on your energy are put aside. As your energy is restored, your ability to prioritize, find solutions, and enjoy life is restored.

There are many tricks to learn and there is all the time in the world to learn them. I look forward to sharing these tools with you. Apply the tools you receive, and you will find life to be a lot easier and more enjoyable.

-Mike Humphreys